FOR THE HIGH-CAPACITY WOMAN WHO’S BEEN HOLDING IT ALL TOGETHER AND IS QUIETLY TERRIFIED OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF SHE LETS GO AND LETS GOD.

You’re the strong one. 

You’re the high-capacity one. The one who carries the load, holds the plan, keeps it all together when everything around you is coming apart. And you’ve worn that strength like armor for so long you’ve forgotten there was ever another way to live.

But here’s the hard truth almost nobody tells the strong woman: The very strength you’ve been relying on is the thing most likely to break you.

I learned that the hard way in the middle of a hurricane. So let me tell you what happened, and then let me share the better way I found, because there is one. 

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The Night I Lost Everything and Couldn’t Control a Thing 

Almost two years ago, Hurricane Helene came through the Gulf. She didn’t even make landfall, staying about a hundred miles offshore. We live on Davis Islands in Tampa, a place that had never majorly flooded from storm surge in all the years I’d lived there, and I’d lived there on and off since I was six.

So when the evacuation orders came, I wasn’t worried. I knew this place. I knew its history. It’s not even coming on shore, I told myself. 

That night, my family and I were playing Uno at 10pm, waiting out the surge, and the Lord spoke to me so clearly. Erica, your house is about to flood. Ground yourself in Me right now, because you can handle this.

Within an hour, three feet of water came through the entire island. We lost our home and 80% of everything we owned. We walked our kids through waist-deep floodwater at 11:30 at night — seawater, channel water, the kind with stingrays and the occasional alligator in it — to get to a neighbor’s elevated home.

The fire department had already evacuated. They told us plainly: there are no emergency services coming. And then I watched a house across the canal explode into flames – a Tesla battery had touched the saltwater — while I stood on a stranger’s patio with 911 telling me, Ma’am, you should have left the island. 

I want you to feel the total lack of control in that, because that’s the whole point. I thought I had it handled. I thought being strong and staying in control was the answer. And in that moment God started showing me that some of the survival instincts I relied on pretty heavily on a regular basis, even after 30 years of walking as a Christian, were actually putting me at pretty big risk.  

I thought you had to grab hold of something strong and be rigid. He was showing me: no, you have to be malleable. You have to trust Me, and you have to bend. 

The Oak Tree Is Strong. It Still Snaps.

Here’s what I couldn’t stop thinking about after that night. When a hurricane rolls through Florida, do you know which trees come down? 

The oak trees.  The strong ones. The hardwoods with the massive trunks, four to six feet in diameter. They get uprooted. They snap. They fall on the cars and the houses and cause the real damage. We actually had a giant oak at our house that had to be removed before the storm, because its roots were tearing up the foundation.

And I’m so glad it was gone, because in that sort of flooding it could have come down right through our roof while we were still in it. 

An oak tree is strong. But strong is not the same as resilient. An oak is rigid, and rigidity is exactly what makes it dangerous in a storm. 

Now look at the palm tree. While the oaks are snapping, the palm tree bends almost all the way to the ground and springs right back up. Over and over, for hours, through sustained hundred-mile-an-hour winds. It doesn’t fall. It doesn’t break. It just keeps bending and rising, bending and rising. Strong roots, but a flexible constitution.

Sister, when the storm comes, you do not want to be the oak. You want to be the palm.

The Secret Is in the Roots 

Here’s what fascinated me when I started studying palm trees. They don’t have deep roots. No tap root driving down into the earth. They only go down about 18 to 36 inches.

So how in the world do they stay standing when the oaks with their deep roots are getting ripped out of the ground? 

Two things. 

First, it’s a networked root system — a dense root ball where the roots and the soil around them swell together and hold on. It’s not depth that keeps the palm standing. It’s the interwoven network. 

And second — this is the part that got me — palm trees planted near other palm trees hold each other up. Their root systems intertwine underground and create a community that keeps every one of them anchored. They literally help one another stay in the ground. 

Read that again, because it’s the whole thing. The palm tree doesn’t survive the storm by being the strongest, deepest-rooted tree on the island. It survives by being grounded and resilient, and by being planted in community.

That’s you. You were never meant to white-knuckle your way through the storm alone, bracing so hard you snap. You were meant to bend and not break, held by roots you can’t see and a community planted right beside you. 

Rigid Is Not Safe 

I need to name something out loud for the high-capacity women in the room right now, because I lived it for years and it was disservicing me the whole time… 

When the storm hit, my instinct was to lock down. Brace. Tighten everything. Grab control and hold on with everything I had. That’s the fight-or-flight response, and so many of us live our whole lives braced like that, mistaking the rigidity for strength. 

But here’s what the research actually shows. In a car accident, the passenger who was asleep often walks away with fewer injuries than the one who was awake, because the sleeping body stays soft and absorbs the impact, while the awake body braces and takes the full force of it. The bracing is the dangerous part. 

Rigid is not safe. Rigid is not solid or secure. When the winds come and there’s no give in you, there’s no resilience in you either. And that’s when you break. 

You don’t want to be rigid. You want to be grounded. 

Rooted and Grounded in Love 

So how do we actually become the palm tree? Not in our own strength. That’s the whole point. We become grounded and resilient by the power of the Spirit.

Paul prayed it over the Ephesians like this: that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being… that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend… the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge (Ephesians 3:16-19). 

Rooted and grounded in love. Not in your competence. Not in your capacity. Not in how well you can control the outcome. In the love of Christ. 

Colossians says it too: as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith (Colossians 2:6-7).  

And Jeremiah gives us the picture: blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord… he is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes… and does not cease to bear fruit (Jeremiah 17:7-8). 

That’s the palm tree. Planted by the river of God, roots drinking deep from His love, not afraid when the heat comes, still green and fruitful in the year of drought. 

So What Do You Do With This? 

If there’s a storm coming at you right now — one that’s been relentless, one you have no control over — I want you to stop trying to be strong enough to survive it. That’s not the assignment.  

Being hypervigilant and rigid might serve you for a moment, but you’re not built for the moment. You’re built for the long haul. Psalm 92 says the righteous will flourish like the palm tree, still bearing fruit and full of green sap into old age. That’s a whole life of resilience, not a white-knuckled sprint. 

So when the winds start and everything in you wants to brace and grab control, that’s the moment you make a different choice. Everything in me wants to do this, but I’m going to do this instead. You ground yourself in the love of Christ. You let your roots go down into Him. You trust that He is holding you, and you let yourself bend. 

Because a woman who is grounded in God doesn’t have to fear the storm. She bends all the way to the ground and comes right back up. 

You will bend, and you will not break. 

🎯 Your Next Steps + Resources For You:

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📖 Scriptures Referenced in This Episode: Ephesians 3:16-19 | Colossians 2:6-7 | Jeremiah 17:7-8 | Psalm 92 

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Erica co-leads a local church alongside her husband, Doug, in Tampa, Florida called REVIVE Church of Tampa. You can visit the church’s website for more information about who we are, what we believe and how we show up as the Church in the heart of West Tampa and beyond.

REVIVE Church of Tampa

REVIVE Church of Tampa streams service live on Sunday mornings at 11am ET. You can find that livestream on our church Facebook page:

Live Service – Sundays at 11am ET

If you’re interested in joining the online campus of REVIVE Church of Tampa, you are welcome to join our community group on Facebook where we offer weekly discussion around the Friday and Sunday messages as well as discipleship Zoom groups and the opportunity to host others in your home as you stream services. You can find us here:

The ROCC: REVIVE Online Campus Community

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About this podcast:

Welcome to the Positioned to Prosper Podcast with Erica Pyle, where we dive deep into Biblical mindsets, strategies, and inspiration to help you thrive in every area of your life. Whether it’s faith, health, relationships, finances, business, or ministry, Erica’s here to equip you with the tools you need to get unstuck, overcome overwhelm, and avoid burnout as you pursue your purpose with intention.

Join Erica, co-lead pastor of REVIVE Church of Tampa, and founder/lead mentor of The Jesus Girl Gang, an online, group coaching mentorship for Christian women with a pioneering spirit, as she shares powerful teachings, practical advice, and pivotal strategies for breakthrough living without compromising on the things that matter most to you. With over 13 years of experience in pastoral ministry alongside her husband Doug, Erica brings a wealth of knowledge and a passionate heart for helping you live out God’s best for your life.

Each week, tune in for transformative insights that will empower you to build a Kingdom business or ministry, nurture your personal well-being, and create balanced, prosperous relationships. If you’re a faith-driven woman seeking to align your life with God’s purpose, you’re in the right place.

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