FOR THE WOMAN WHO TOOK IT TO GOD, MEANT EVERY WORD, AND STILL CAN’T PUT IT DOWN. 

You said what you did. You meant it. You asked Him to forgive you and you got up off your knees. And it’s still sitting on you.

So you’ve gone back. More than once. Confessing the same thing like maybe this time it’ll take, and it never does. And somewhere in there you started wondering if something is wrong with you. 

Sis, here’s what I need you to hear. If you’re still carrying guilt and shame, you probably haven’t fully repented yet. Not all the way. You likely missed a step. 

That’s not a rebuke. Real repentance produces relief and gratitude. So if that’s not what’s on the other side of it, you got stopped somewhere… and the good news is you can get all the way there. 

🎥 Prefer to WATCH the podcast instead of just listening? 👉 Catch this week’s episode of the video podcast on my YouTube channel:

Nobody Woke Up and Chose Violence Against the Kingdom 

Before we get into the steps, understand what’s actually happening to you. Not a single one of us woke up one morning and decided to choose violence against the God of heaven and earth. That’s not how we got here. 

This is a strategy. If the enemy can’t take you out, he’ll wear you out. And the way he does it in this particular area is brilliant, honestly. He lets you acknowledge that you were wrong. He’ll even let you say the words. And then he locks you in guilt and shame, where you feel like you’ve got to fix it, you’ve got to pay for it, you’ve got to carry it. 

That’s not repentance. That’s a holding cell with your own name on the door. And this is how Christians stay in the spin cycle of sin. Can you see it?

The U-Turn 

Think about a road trip. You get in the car and you know where you’re going. Somebody asks if you want to map it. Nope. You’ve got this. 

Thirty minutes in, something shifts. You start looking around and the scenery isn’t matching. And then it lands… I’m going the wrong way. What does that feel like? Gut punch. Right in the stomach. 

Now here’s where it forks. Because there’s a little friend who shows up in the passenger seat, and I’m going to call him Daddy P, because Jesus said you only get one father and I’d rather not say the other name out loud. Pride leans over and says, you don’t have to tell her. Pull off for gas. Get back on going the other direction and just act like that was the plan. 

Go that route and I promise you’ll feel guilt and shame the whole way. Or you say it out loud. I’m going the wrong direction and I need to turn around. And you turn. You actually turn the car. You put the destination into the GPS, and now there’s a voice telling you where to go, and the only reason you couldn’t hear her before is that you never turned her on.

What do you feel in that moment? Relief. Gratitude. That’s repentance, Sister. That’s the whole thing. 

Step One: Awareness. I See It. 

The first step has a feeling attached to it, and it’s a general unsettledness. A foreboding. Something’s off and you can’t name it yet. That feeling isn’t your enemy. It’s an invitation to see. 

God does three things to get you there, in this order. First, He speaks to you directly. If your heart’s too hard for that, He sends a person. Remember Nathan walking up to David with a story and then saying you are that man? That’s step two of three. And if you still won’t hear it, He allows circumstances. It’s like standing in the middle of the road while people scream at you to move, and finally the horns start.

Here’s the note I want you to actually write down. If your life is full of chaos and confusion right now, it’s not the other person. It’s you. Because you’ve decided to justify your position and you’re out of order.

And this is also where guilt and shame first show up. If God is speaking, sending people and allowing circumstances and you’re still negotiating, defending and explaining yourself… that wrestle is what guilt and shame are made of. 

Step Two: Conviction. Weight With Peace. 

This is the step almost everybody gets stuck on, and it’s because nobody taught us the difference between two things that feel almost identical. 

Conviction feels like a heavy weight with peace. Condemnation feels like a heavy weight with anxiety. That’s it. That’s the whole test, and you can feel it in your body.

Condemnation presses down on you and then sets off an alarm inside. I’ve got to fix it. I’ve got to pay for it. I’ve got to get out of here. That’s the weight of a father who is not your Father, and under him you should be afraid of punishment. 

Conviction is the shepherd holding the sheep down to clean out its ears. There’s weight, because He has to hold you still. But underneath it there’s peace, because something in you knows He’s about to do good to you. It may hurt. It may take a minute. He’s still good.

Conviction also carries grief. Real, to-the-bone grief. That’s not a malfunction. That’s the appropriate response to seeing it clearly. But hear me on this. If you stop here, you’re in danger. 

Jesus told us what happens to a house that gets swept clean and left empty. The thing comes back with seven friends, and the last state is worse than the first. Stop at conviction and the hardening that comes next is worse than what you started with. Offense gets in. And offense left alone becomes I wish that person would just go away, which is a spirit of murder, friend. That’s Cain and Abel territory. 

What moves you from conviction to repentance is one thing, and it’s a choice you make: humility. 

Step Three: Repentance. The Turn. 

Repentance is metanoia. It’s the turn. Not the apology, not the acknowledgment, not the feeling bad. The turn.

And it requires that you dig all the way down to the root. “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!” — Psalm 139:23 

So many of us take responsibility and then sweep the thing under a rug. I’ll tell you what happens every time: you’ll repeat it. Because the root is still down there, and He cannot heal what you keep hiding. 

When you humble yourself and expose the whole root, He can finally get in there and clean it out. And that, by itself, is what reconnects you to Him. Nothing else does it.

You want to see what’s on the other side? Look at Paul. The man stood up in front of rooms full of people who knew exactly what he’d done and said, in effect, I was the one killing you all, and I’m still here to tell you how to live. I am what I am because of who God made me to be.

No hiding. No flinching. Because repentance realigns you to the truth of God, and once you’re aligned, your mouth just tells the truth.

Step Four: Fruit. The Test. 

Here’s the part that keeps us honest. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” — Galatians 5:22-23 

Jesus said wisdom is proved right by her children. Repentance works the same way. If there’s no fruit, it wasn’t repentance, no matter how badly you felt.

So what’s the fruit? You tell the truth automatically. You stop hiding things. You become an open book and you’re not ashamed of what people see. And the fruit of the Spirit starts showing up where it wasn’t.

This is also why Jesus said in Luke 17 to rebuke a brother, and if he repents, forgive him. You owe everyone forgiveness in the sense of releasing them to God. You are not required to reconcile with someone who is unrepentant, because there’s no fruit to reconcile to.

Sit with that one for a sec. Like, Selah.

Make the U-Turn 

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” — Romans 8:28 

Read that again. According to His purpose. When you’re unrepentant, you’re not aligned to His purpose, and no amount of waiting on Him is going to fix your heart for you.

Yeah, you’re late. Yeah, it’s possible you’ve hurt people and caused problems. But does being late really convince you to keep driving in the wrong direction? 

There’s joy waiting on the other side of this. One of the fruits of the Spirit is joy. So if you can’t get to it, you’re just stuck somewhere in those four steps.

Find the place. Move past it in the power of God. He will restore, and He will recover all with you. Amen. 

🎯 Your Next Steps + Resources For You:

📖 Come Study the Book of Nehemiah with Me: Monday nights at 7:00pm ET on Zoom. A full leadership study on rebuilding what’s been broken down and building healthy spiritual habits, co-ed, taught alongside my husband. It’s not too late to jump in. Get signed up and let’s dig in!

Get signed up and let’s dig in! 👉🏽 revivetampa.org/biblestudy 

☀️ Join me for Get Ready with God: Come start your day with me, Sis! Every weekday at 7:30am ET. 30 minutes of inspo, prayer and the word before the loudness of the day can even try to grab the wheel. Let’s get ready with God! 💃🏻 
👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericapyle
👉 Facebook: https://www.ericapyle.com/BizFB 

⛪️ Come worship with us at REVIVE Church of Tampa: 
🙌 Sunday worship at 11am, in person and online.
📍 1803 N. Howard Ave, Tampa, FL 33607. 
👉 https://www.revivetampa.org/churchonline

🎧 Subscribe to Positioned to Prosper Podcast: This is where breakthrough gets built, the kind that changes the pattern for you, your family, and the generations coming behind you. Subscribe so you do not miss the next one.  
👉🏽 Apple Podcasts: ericapyle.com/apple
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📖 Scriptures Referenced in This Episode: Luke 17:3-4 | Romans 10:9-10 | Matthew 18 | Galatians 5:22-23 | Romans 8:28 | 2 Samuel 12:7 | Psalm 139:23 | Colossians 3:15

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Erica co-leads a local church alongside her husband, Doug, in Tampa, Florida called REVIVE Church of Tampa. You can visit the church’s website for more information about who we are, what we believe and how we show up as the Church in the heart of West Tampa and beyond.

REVIVE Church of Tampa

REVIVE Church of Tampa streams service live on Sunday mornings at 11am ET. You can find that livestream on our church Facebook page:

Live Service – Sundays at 11am ET

If you’re interested in joining the online campus of REVIVE Church of Tampa, you are welcome to join our community group on Facebook where we offer weekly discussion around the Friday and Sunday messages as well as discipleship Zoom groups and the opportunity to host others in your home as you stream services. You can find us here:

The ROCC: REVIVE Online Campus Community

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About this podcast:

Welcome to the Positioned to Prosper Podcast with Erica Pyle, where we dive deep into Biblical mindsets, strategies, and inspiration to help you thrive in every area of your life. Whether it’s faith, health, relationships, finances, business, or ministry, Erica’s here to equip you with the tools you need to get unstuck, overcome overwhelm, and avoid burnout as you pursue your purpose with intention.

Join Erica, co-lead pastor of REVIVE Church of Tampa, and founder/lead mentor of The Jesus Girl Gang, an online, group coaching mentorship for Christian women with a pioneering spirit, as she shares powerful teachings, practical advice, and pivotal strategies for breakthrough living without compromising on the things that matter most to you. With over 13 years of experience in pastoral ministry alongside her husband Doug, Erica brings a wealth of knowledge and a passionate heart for helping you live out God’s best for your life.

Each week, tune in for transformative insights that will empower you to build a Kingdom business or ministry, nurture your personal well-being, and create balanced, prosperous relationships. If you’re a faith-driven woman seeking to align your life with God’s purpose, you’re in the right place.

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